Boring Thursday afternoon

So here I sit once more at work bored to tears, when I hear this cover of "time after time" originally done by Cyndi Lauper, being covered by the unbelievable sexy hot voice of Rob Thomas (Matchbox 20). God damn does that man have a voice that gives me the major chills. Wow.

Okay, now that I've calmed myself down it's been a strange week. I found out the other day that my ex's best friend killed himself over the weekend. I still can't believe it. He never seemed like the type, but apparently he had some inner demons that he kept so well hidden that no one had a clue. My heart just aches for this guys family. One of my best friends used to "date" (sleep with) the deceased, she seems to be okay, as it had been several years since then for her too. I just found this whole situation disturbing on so many levels. I don't get suicide. It's so selfish and senseless. This guy had a five year old son, two young "step" kids and a fiance who kicked him out. (which we think is why he did it) How are they going to explain that to those kids. He was only 26. It just pisses me off but saddens me at the same time. Does that make sense at all?

So anyway that's enough rambling for one day I do believe.

Woo Hoo its 2005, HAPPY NEW YEAR

So okay, here's hoping it's going to be the best year ever. My life finally feels like it is "normalizing". I'm pretty happy and settled for the first time in a long time. Last year I got married and bought a new home. I feel like such a grownup now. This year I will hit the big 30! UGH. It's seven months away so I'm not freaking out yet, but who knows how I will feel come July. My kids are doing good and my daughter finally feels like part of the family. I have one little secret that's KILLING me, but I can't post it for fear someone I know may really see it. Sorry! If the time comes when/if I can tell it, you better believe that I will!

Hmmm....let's see, what else is up. I will be done with my bachelor's degree this year! Woo hoo! Only 5 more classes to take and I will be a college graduate (again!) Hopefully I can kick start this career thing into high gear and start making some real $$$$ !!.

On the friendship level things are good except with my one best friend of 20 years who really hurt me last year. I can't decide if I should let her back into my life or not. I care about her but she gets on my every last nerve. She's very selfish, needy and whiny. I've heard some of the things she has said about me behind my back and it's hurt me deeply. I know she never meant for me to hear those things and if she knew I knew she'd be very truly sorry she said them. But that doesn't change the fact that she did say them! I dont' know. If we are meant to be friends again we will be. I guess I'll just let the drama play itself out for now. Okay, I have rambled much for today so I will get back to work!

See ya!